Do bad things really come in bunches?

For those close to me, you will know that this has not been a great month. Not for any one thing in particular, but it has seemingly been a never-ending episode of "murphy's law" (and I do not mean the sitcom starring candice bergen). But after giving this some more thought, does this really happen or does our perspective on life change with each setback? That is, do we actively look for the bad in every situation to reinforce our run of bad 'luck'. Once a single bad event occurs (this can be something as small as finishing your business on the toilet only to realise there is no toilet paper!), I think we are already pre-programmed to look for the next sign of something bad to confirm that a 'bad day' is coming. It gives us an 'out' for the rest of the day; but not only that, it is so easy to do so. People will empathize because everyone has had a 'bad' day. Now, I am in no way down-playing bad days, as they do exist and most with more than an acceptable reason. I just suppose that in the battle of 'good-day vs. bad-day', I think we could all fight harder for the former. And I will definitely do so in my own reflection of this month.

12 May 2011 Resolution

I have just decided, literally right now, to make a resolution on this day, the 12th of May. It is to publish more blogs. So come check it out. Daily. If not for the hopes of a post, but to catch me out when I don't post. Do it. My life will be better for it.

changing my initials.

So on tuesday (14th Dec) I had the inevitable Ph.D. viva (voce). For a Ph.D. student, this is the ultimate culmination of one's research (in my case, four years) and determines if their research is essentially 'worth it'. Not only does it assess your actual work, it examines your ability to do research in the future. So, it would have been perfectly normal to have been extremely nervous. Except, in this case, I wasn't. I had been dutifully prepared by members within my own department with a mock viva on the previous thursday. I had also been battling a gum infection (due to an invading wisdom tooth) and a flu so the first thing on my mind was actually getting back to full strength. Somehow, this sickness actually gave me (mental) strength and gave me the confidence to know that there was not a question they could ask that I wouldn't at least have an intelligible answer for.

So the day had come. I rented a car in advance so that I wouldn't be late. or even risk the chance of being late. I wanted to be sure. And the last thing I wanted was to walk and show up sweating buckets. That would have put me off immediately. I woke up extra early and made my way to the the Sports Tech Institute. I didn't risk eating breakfast in case of indigestion. And I had thought that it was only going to be a couple hours so it wouldn't be long until I ate anyway (oh and I also secretly thought there would be snacks as it was common to see cookies!). Well, nothing really turned out like I thought it would. There were no tricky philosophical questions. Instead, they were sound, probing questions that really made sure I understand what I did and why. The two hour mark at which I had hoped to finish was actually now the half-way point. The bathroom break, if you will. I can remember thinking at this time: "what have i done?.. what a massive error on my part to do a ph.d.!!!" But throughout the process, my answers were free-flowing and never forced. Perhaps, I actually was ready. Three and a half hours later and the interrogation was over. I had struggled to hold back a smile on my face when I knew the end was near... questions on chapter 10 were like music to my ears.

And then came the decision. There was no x-factor type suspense. Straight in: you've passed. Congratulations. Time to smile, I thought. There were minor corrections as can be expected from most ph.d's. The important thing was: additional data collection was not required. Just the overall presentation needed to be cleaned up, and this was something I was fine with since the original hand-in was a bit rushed. But that was that, and all of a sudden, I'm not longer a Mr.... I may just become a Dr!

Now, I secretly thought that champagne would rain down from the heavens and that I would be given a key to a secret underground society on campus that only other fellow doctors were a part of. That did not happen, and NO, it does not seem unreasonable to suggest. In the absence of these perks, I think the change in initials will suit me just fine.

It's been awhile

Hello out there!

Hopefully I still have some readers out there... I did not mean to neglect you for so long. As it has been some time, I thought I would just update you slightly on my life.

After a frantic dash (read: limping) to the finish line, I submitted my Ph.D. on the 30th of September. Unbeknownst to me, I had to hand it in by this date or I would be considered as a statistical fail. Whilst this would mean very little to me, this meant a lot to the university as it could affect future funding or grant allocations. As one who always wishes to fall in-line, I naturally did all in my power to finish by this date.... even if the quality of my work suffered. I always maintained, throughout my Ph.D., that if given the choice of either rushing to finish my work on time or being more deliberate and being overdue that I would choose deliberate and overdue every time. After all, I am putting my name to this thing. Naturally, when push came to shove, I cowered and did what I could to appease the people above me. This meant about 2 weeks of very little sleep, but at least it was done - albeit with loads of corrections still to make.

In the meanwhile, volleyball was still going on. As I was not finished by the start of term, I am, once again, enrolled as a student. That meant another year of BUSA (now BUCS) volleyball. Sigh. To try to distance myself I decided that my best role for the team may actually be to coach instead of play. After all, there are younger players out there that deserve a shot and I will not always be here. I might as well pass on whatever wisdom I have so that the club can continue to be self-serving. We're about mid-way through the season right now and the results have been mixed. I have questioned my ability to lead and coach athletes without actually being on the floor myself. It has left me quite conflicted, but the team itself is quite young and I hope that we can pull it together soon. Stay tuned for more updates on this matter...

In addition to finishing the Ph.D. and the start of the volleyball season, I had the impending move out of my flat AND the expiration of my visa hovering over my head! My flatmates were moving out for their own reasons and as of 18 Oct 2010, I would have no where to live. Unfortunately, having been in uni for 10 (straight) years (this is my 11th), I had an idea of where I wanted to live and under what conditions. So whilst I knew about the move for about a month, it took me precisely that long to find a place to live. But now all is good there though I'm probably paying more than I should and/or want to. As for the visa, that was renewed as well, but not without complications. I could have (and probably should have) re-applied for a student visa so that I could continue to work in the UK... however, that was going to set me back £357 and a lot of wasted hassle with applications, etc. Instead, I decided to get a visitors visa. One that would allow me to be here without paying the £357 but it meant I couldn't work. The only requirement was that I had to leave the UK and re-enter. As such, I selected Stockholm as I had always wanted to go and now I had my excuse. In the end it probably cost me more to travel there than it would have for my visa application, but at least I got to see somewhere new.

This has been my life in the smallest of nutshells... I look forward to sharing more with you in the near future and at a more consistent rate.

Ph.D. Completion Update:

I'm never gonna finish!

I'm bad at this

Apologies, folks. That is, if there are any readers out there. I am, admittedly, bad at this blogging thing. I've got so much to say, but it seems like there is never any time to say it. I've been working diligently (well by my standards) on finishing my Ph.D. during the weekdays and then for the last 3 weekends I've been away on volleyball-related excursions (Birmingham, Margate, then Sandbanks). In each instance, I've had to drive either a manual van or a manual car. Surprisingly, I was able to get us from point A to point B with minimal discomfort (I cannot say none because my hill starts and shifting is sometimes poor at best). Hopefully I continue to improve because it is a bit more fun and I think it's a great skill to have! Anyway, that's been me for the next little bit... I hope to say that the next time I write that I will be a bit more profound or excited (for finishing my Ph.D.). Keep your fingers cross. Figuratively of course, because you could be holding them for a long time. Til then...

A weekend to remember.

Rarely does my blog serve as an update on my life, but sometimes you just have moments in your life that will stay with you forever. It is one of those moments that I will share with you now.

This weekend, I travelled down to the south coast of England with my housemates (Rob & Kerry) and two friends (Nat & Sarah) to attend Beach Student Cup. This is an annual event organised by Volleyball England which caters to beach volleyball enthusiasts at all British universities and colleges. Similar to last year, it was held at Buscombe which is close to Rob's home in Poole, making the logistics of the weekend that much easier. In this year's competition, there were not only more pairing (52 in the men's draw alone) but the competition, on paper, was much stiffer. As such, coming into the weekend, Rob and I, who had placed 9th in the previous year's competition, had just hoped to come in the top 10 again this year. Play started on the Saturday morning as all pairs were put into 13 pools of 4. Because of the sheer number of pairs and the small number of courts, matches had to be one-setters to 21. This actually served Rob and I well as one of our main weaknesses was bound to be our stamina! We quickly made our way through pool play with scores of 21-11, 21-11 and 21-7 earning us the fourth seeds heading into the elimination rounds. We were put in the top half of the draw, which, on paper, was much easier than the bottom half. We received a bye into the 2nd round, and in our first elimination match, we won handily 2-0 (21-2, 21-4; matches were best-of-3 in the elim rounds). That ended the first day's play.

On the second day, we faced a pairing from Sheffield Hallam. While they were solid indoor players, their play did not translate well to the outdoor beach game as they fell to us 21-10, 21-14. This not only meant a trip to the quarter-finals, but also free tickets to Beach Break Live, a festival held exclusively for students in the south of wales (retail value: 89 GBP!). In the quarters, we faced a pairing from Queens Uni Belfast who were going to offer the stiffest competition yet. They were very similar in terms of style of play and if we didn't play our best, we would be eliminated. In a tough, gruelling match, we were able to edge it out 21-17, 15-21, 15-9. Suddenly, we were headed to the semis against our good friend, Jonny and his partner from Brighton uni. They were the #1 seeds heading into elimination play and, as such, definitely knew what they were doing. Similar to our quarters match, this team was very similar in style and if we didn't play well, we would not have a date on centre court for the final. Unfortunately, both Rob and I had one of those moments where we both couldn't get it together and we lost our first match of the tourney 14-21, 20-22. Needless to say, we were both disappointed - both at not being able to play on centre court and not being to actually have a shot at winning the tourney. It was also just disappointing that we were not able to take advantage of the opportunity of a gratuitous draw. Aside from these obvious disappointments, it served as a moment of realization.

As a child, I was either a very good athletic competitor or just a very lucky one. Every competition I was in, either individually or as part of a team, we were always able to over-achieve or at least meet expectations. We beat opponents we should have and threw in an upset every once in awhile. To me, that showed a level of confidence in our own ability and a level-headedness required for success. Unfortunately, this year has not been like that at all at any level of volleyball, whether it be student, national league or beach. While I just accept that this is probably a factor of my old age, I did feel bad for my beach partner this weekend. While we did well, especially considering our height (i'm 5'9" and he's about 6'0" even), he has international caps in beach, while I have.. well, nothing. It's not that I'm a bad beach player (i think in terms of height-to-skill ratio, i'm quite good lol), just that with a better partner, he probably has a chance to win it all. You put me with a random player, and we probably finish in the 20s... you pair him with someone like me and suddenly you get 3rd. He's just that good. For a 29-year-old, like myself, it was just a blast from the past to get on the podium again! But this isn't what this entry is all about, just a small revelation from the weekend.

Despite the length of the bit about volleyball, this weekend was more about everything but. This trip brought together a group of people that ordinarily probably wouldn't hang out together. So there's me and Rob - that's fairly standard. Then there's our housemate and Rob's gf, Kerry. Then we have Nat, an international Belgian from Bath Uni, doing her placement year at the Astra Zeneca in Loughborough. Lastly, we have Sarah, another placement student from upstate NY studying at Georgia Tech who works at STI with me (sort of). An unlikely combo to say the least!! Coming into the weekend, I was a bit worried about how everyone would get along, but in retrospect, it was a silly concern! It was just one of those weekends that was able to bring people together from different walks of life and just hang out. And it couldn't have worked out better. We laughed and laughed, and when that failed, we laughed some more. We built rock sculptures, barbequed, smoked cigars, and even sailed. I'd attempt to actually describe all these events but it wouldn't even do it justice. It was just one of those weekends where people from all walks of life could come together and just enjoy living. In the end, it doesn't matter how you describe it... it truly was, in the most simplest terms, a weekend to remember.