Ph.D. Completion Update:

I'm never gonna finish!

I'm bad at this

Apologies, folks. That is, if there are any readers out there. I am, admittedly, bad at this blogging thing. I've got so much to say, but it seems like there is never any time to say it. I've been working diligently (well by my standards) on finishing my Ph.D. during the weekdays and then for the last 3 weekends I've been away on volleyball-related excursions (Birmingham, Margate, then Sandbanks). In each instance, I've had to drive either a manual van or a manual car. Surprisingly, I was able to get us from point A to point B with minimal discomfort (I cannot say none because my hill starts and shifting is sometimes poor at best). Hopefully I continue to improve because it is a bit more fun and I think it's a great skill to have! Anyway, that's been me for the next little bit... I hope to say that the next time I write that I will be a bit more profound or excited (for finishing my Ph.D.). Keep your fingers cross. Figuratively of course, because you could be holding them for a long time. Til then...

A weekend to remember.

Rarely does my blog serve as an update on my life, but sometimes you just have moments in your life that will stay with you forever. It is one of those moments that I will share with you now.

This weekend, I travelled down to the south coast of England with my housemates (Rob & Kerry) and two friends (Nat & Sarah) to attend Beach Student Cup. This is an annual event organised by Volleyball England which caters to beach volleyball enthusiasts at all British universities and colleges. Similar to last year, it was held at Buscombe which is close to Rob's home in Poole, making the logistics of the weekend that much easier. In this year's competition, there were not only more pairing (52 in the men's draw alone) but the competition, on paper, was much stiffer. As such, coming into the weekend, Rob and I, who had placed 9th in the previous year's competition, had just hoped to come in the top 10 again this year. Play started on the Saturday morning as all pairs were put into 13 pools of 4. Because of the sheer number of pairs and the small number of courts, matches had to be one-setters to 21. This actually served Rob and I well as one of our main weaknesses was bound to be our stamina! We quickly made our way through pool play with scores of 21-11, 21-11 and 21-7 earning us the fourth seeds heading into the elimination rounds. We were put in the top half of the draw, which, on paper, was much easier than the bottom half. We received a bye into the 2nd round, and in our first elimination match, we won handily 2-0 (21-2, 21-4; matches were best-of-3 in the elim rounds). That ended the first day's play.

On the second day, we faced a pairing from Sheffield Hallam. While they were solid indoor players, their play did not translate well to the outdoor beach game as they fell to us 21-10, 21-14. This not only meant a trip to the quarter-finals, but also free tickets to Beach Break Live, a festival held exclusively for students in the south of wales (retail value: 89 GBP!). In the quarters, we faced a pairing from Queens Uni Belfast who were going to offer the stiffest competition yet. They were very similar in terms of style of play and if we didn't play our best, we would be eliminated. In a tough, gruelling match, we were able to edge it out 21-17, 15-21, 15-9. Suddenly, we were headed to the semis against our good friend, Jonny and his partner from Brighton uni. They were the #1 seeds heading into elimination play and, as such, definitely knew what they were doing. Similar to our quarters match, this team was very similar in style and if we didn't play well, we would not have a date on centre court for the final. Unfortunately, both Rob and I had one of those moments where we both couldn't get it together and we lost our first match of the tourney 14-21, 20-22. Needless to say, we were both disappointed - both at not being able to play on centre court and not being to actually have a shot at winning the tourney. It was also just disappointing that we were not able to take advantage of the opportunity of a gratuitous draw. Aside from these obvious disappointments, it served as a moment of realization.

As a child, I was either a very good athletic competitor or just a very lucky one. Every competition I was in, either individually or as part of a team, we were always able to over-achieve or at least meet expectations. We beat opponents we should have and threw in an upset every once in awhile. To me, that showed a level of confidence in our own ability and a level-headedness required for success. Unfortunately, this year has not been like that at all at any level of volleyball, whether it be student, national league or beach. While I just accept that this is probably a factor of my old age, I did feel bad for my beach partner this weekend. While we did well, especially considering our height (i'm 5'9" and he's about 6'0" even), he has international caps in beach, while I have.. well, nothing. It's not that I'm a bad beach player (i think in terms of height-to-skill ratio, i'm quite good lol), just that with a better partner, he probably has a chance to win it all. You put me with a random player, and we probably finish in the 20s... you pair him with someone like me and suddenly you get 3rd. He's just that good. For a 29-year-old, like myself, it was just a blast from the past to get on the podium again! But this isn't what this entry is all about, just a small revelation from the weekend.

Despite the length of the bit about volleyball, this weekend was more about everything but. This trip brought together a group of people that ordinarily probably wouldn't hang out together. So there's me and Rob - that's fairly standard. Then there's our housemate and Rob's gf, Kerry. Then we have Nat, an international Belgian from Bath Uni, doing her placement year at the Astra Zeneca in Loughborough. Lastly, we have Sarah, another placement student from upstate NY studying at Georgia Tech who works at STI with me (sort of). An unlikely combo to say the least!! Coming into the weekend, I was a bit worried about how everyone would get along, but in retrospect, it was a silly concern! It was just one of those weekends that was able to bring people together from different walks of life and just hang out. And it couldn't have worked out better. We laughed and laughed, and when that failed, we laughed some more. We built rock sculptures, barbequed, smoked cigars, and even sailed. I'd attempt to actually describe all these events but it wouldn't even do it justice. It was just one of those weekends where people from all walks of life could come together and just enjoy living. In the end, it doesn't matter how you describe it... it truly was, in the most simplest terms, a weekend to remember.

The probabilities of life.

This past term, I was a lab assistant for an MSc module on statistics, and it got me thinking... man, i wish i was better at stats! Why? Because as I see it, our life is unfortunately ruled by probabilities and their associated statistics. Trouble is, in many instances, it is impossible to actually quantify these odds. In spite of this, we are so quick to attribute any misfortune as being 'unlucky' and any success as being 'skill'. (Aside: In fact, the phrase, "unlucky" is one of my most hated phrases). How can this possibly be?! Truth is, all people can really do is put themselves in the best position to succeed and then rely on external factors (read: luck) before true success is/can be achieved. Is this true for all walks of life? I will attempt to convince you yes. Let's start with an obvious one - one that is a big part of my life.

Poker. I've been playing since I was roughly 15. We'd each buy in for $10 and the dealer would call the game. Kings and little ones. Chicago. Baseball. And the list goes on. For my group of friends, it was just a different way to hang out and pass the time. I continued to play through high school and got caught up in the online Moneymaker craze of 2003. Fast-forward to the present and I still manage to play. Mostly to make money (which I then re-invest in stocks) but also because there still is a bit of excitement. To the casual observer, they can't understand how there is money to be made in a game of 'luck'. Thing is, an experienced player can tell you the odds of hitting a set on the flop or a flush after the flop, whereas inexperienced players will see this as a virtue of being lucky. Trouble is, most people have a problem differentiating between 'odds' and 'luck'. If I get my money into the pot when i'm ahead in the hand, odds are I will win more often than I will lose. Therefore, in the long run, it is a winning proposition. Luck is only observed if you examine that one particular hand and do not consider the entire sample population. Let's dumb this down further. Say we took a 6-sided dice and painted 4 sides red and the other 2 sides black. You would always bet red (66% chance of success versus 33% chance of failure). If you just bet once and it came red, that might be lucky, but the odds of it being black still haven't changed and it shouldn't change how you would bet. I realise this is a bit over-simplified (because you can easily calculate the permutations), but I will now look at other aspects of life and attempt to convince you that life is really not much different than a game of poker.

Finding a Job. When we look for a job, we don't just apply for one place and then get it. To increase our probability, we: a) apply for many jobs, b) get more education, c) get experience, and that's just to name a few. And even after achieving these things, it does not guarantee us that job. All we're doing is putting ourselves in the best position to succeed. We are still at the mercy of luck. How? Well, what if some other equally qualified candidate interviews before you and the company decides, "let's not waste any more time, we've found our guy", does this mean you were 'unlucky'? No, because your qualifications don't serve as a guarantee - they just increase the odds of you being attractive to the employer. (Upon reading this, you may shake your head and think I'm crazy. I think the main reason is because you can't put a number or odds of getting any job, but the same principles mentioned above in the poker example relate to this as well. However, we all inherently know it to be true or else we would never apply for more than one job at a time). And that's what we have been taught our whole lives... to try to stack odds in our favour in order to succeed.

Playing Sports. This is probably the most guilty of being a part of the 'unlucky' phenomenon. A football hits the crossbar. Unlucky. Double fault in tennis. Unlucky. Really? I'd argue that getting tackled by a member of the crowd when you're leading a marathon is unlucky, the former two examples are just unskilled! Does that mean we should stop trying? Of course not. Thing is, each and everyone of us is not perfect and the reason for our imperfection is not because of luck. Let's take the tennis serving example. Let's say you're a really good server and you get in 75% of your first serves, this means that 25% of the time you get to the 2nd serve. The good thing is, you're a really good 2nd server who can get it in 90% of the time. Now, these are really high percentages for any pro tennis player, but you still double fault 2.5% of the time. So when they double fault in a match, is that unlucky? NO. It's built into their statistical long-run. This is why we have practices - we develop our skills in order to increase our success percentages and stack the odds in our favour. Now this is quite straight-forward as it is pretty much a closed skill (i.e. the odds of you hitting your serve have very little to do with what your opponent is actually doing.. i know it's not as clear cut as that, but for all intents and purposes here it will be). What happens when it's an open skill such as a penalty shot? Well, it's all the same really, except now you need knowledge of the individual player. Where do they like to shoot? What visual cues can I pick up from their approach? This is why they watch so much game tape so that they can 'play the odds' and make the best tactical approach. Does it always work? No, but this is not a factor of luck. Either that or it is always a factor of luck - one or the other. And yet rarely do we ever consider a goal to be a scored purely by luck.

So maybe the next time the word 'unlucky' is about to roll off your tongue, you will open your mind, and pause.

I can't take full credit for most of these thoughts and ideas for I have been influenced by life and the reading of 'Fooled By Randomness' by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. I highly recommend this book if you have some free time and an open mind.

What inspires you?

The other day, a friend of mine told me that she thought the most inspirational song ever was the theme tune to 'Pokemon'. Really?! But that got me thinking, what songs inspire me? Here we go:

Not Ready To Make Nice - Dixie Chicks

Anyone remotely familiar with the story of the Dixie Chicks will know just how inspirational this song can be and is. When the world turns their back on you, you come back stronger and more sure of yourself.

Lose Yourself - Eminem

If this can inspire Eminem, I think it has the power to inspire me.

Ruff Ryders Anthem - DMX

This is just more from personal experience... some great moments warming up to this song before high school volleyball matches.

Gladiator Theme Song

Can't help but be inspired by the theme song to a great film.

I Believe I Can Fly - R Kelly

This song paints a picture in my mind of Michael Jordan flying through the night sky. From one of the most determined basketballers of all time, you almost get inspiration infused in you. Trust me.

Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve

No real story here, just a great song!

I'm sure there are more... but what are yours?

It must be tough.

I must admit, every time I watch Super Nanny, my first thought is, 'wow, this is crap television'. Before my second thought, I would like to begin this post, like many others, with a good preface. I cannot claim to be an expert in this field (or in many, if any, others for that matter), but this is something that I have a strong opinion about. Furthermore, I am not a parent so my views may not be entirely accurate, but this is how I see it. Anyway, as I was saying, my second thought... 'man it must be tough... to be a parent these days'.

Kids, myself included, have had it very easy. And I don't mean easy because we didn't have to work on the farm or walk to school for hours each day. I mean easy because we've always been given the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, parents... parents have had their every move scrutinized. There is always someone looking over their shoulder telling them what they have done wrong or what they are about to do wrong. Meanwhile, kids live their lives like it it's the OC or 90210 without a care in the world. Kids, these days, know their options and know what parents can and cannot do and they play on this all the time it seems. Parents don't stand a chance, really. They don't yell or discipline because they're afraid of pushing their children away or rebelling against them. At the same time, they wear any of their child's misgivings on their sleeve for all to see. They know that, though it is not fair in this day in age, the way their children grow up is a direct reflection of themselves as parents and as people. I guess, all I can hope for in the future is that, I too, was a good parent.

Revelation.. the travelling version.

Let me begin by saying, I love travelling. And I mean, love. When the opportunity presents itself, I rarely, if ever pass up the opportunity regardless of how busy I should be and how much money I don't have. In case you're not a fellow traveller, you might be wondering, what is the draw? Well, for one, it generally means that you're experiencing something different, that you're not stuck in the same daily grind. And that's a good thing. A very good thing. On top of that, you're learning more about how the world works. I learn more whilst travelling than I ever have reading any text book, novel, magazine or scientific journal. There is definitely something to be said for experiencing things first hand, particularly at a younger age. I think it helps me gain unparalleled perspective and an appreciation for all things in my life. It also feel it makes me more adept at handling different personalities and situations within my own life... essentially I feel comfortable at most if not at all times. Bust most of all, and I know it already sounds like a lot, I learn the most about myself.

I generally tend to travel by myself. Sometimes out of necessity, but sometimes out of convenience. In fact, given the choice in the past, I would probably have preferred travelling by myself. It is just so much easier; you don't need to plan around someone else's schedule, hoping that they want to see the same things and for the same amount of time you do and you don't risk alienating them by sometimes choosing to do, buy or eat expensive things. But also, you learn to hang out with yourself. And I don't mean in the third person. I think sometimes we are too afraid to be by ourselves and really enjoy the solitariness of our own company. That may sound a bit depressing, but how can we expect others to like us, if we do not like ourselves (a bit introspective and philosophical, but I somewhat believe this). Turns out, I like the person I have become and hope that others do too.

Recently, I've experienced a paradigm shift in my way of thinking with regards to solo travel. While my love for travel has definitely not waned, my enjoyment for solo travel has. Perhaps its my age or maybe I'm starting to dislike myself, but with each subsequent trip that I seem to go on, I come to the same conclusions... I wish I could share this with someone. Not to sound funny, but I go to some pretty amazing places (for example now I am blogging in Cape Town), and not being devoid of sense and emotion, I can't help but feel envious when I see couples enjoying these moments together. Maybe I have become too comfortable with travelling alone that I may not make the transition easily, but I'll definitely give it a shot! Just one slight problem though...